Do you ever remember your dreams?

Do you think about what they might mean?

I was thinking about this concept this week because earlier in the week I had a dream that was decidedly odd, probably not one that would be considered restful. :)

In the dream, I was sitting on a couch with some other people in the same room and we were all discussing story plot lines. The main storyline was the basic "evil mastermind controlling others to do whatever nefarious plans he had". The discussion revolved around how to demonstrate the pure evilness of the evil mastermind.

The person who was set to portray the evil mastermind was standing behind me and had asked a question. I think, something about taking a hostage...? I turned my head as far as I could to talk to him, but that ended up meaning that I was practically looking at him upside down, which seemed silly (even in a dream...)

So I got onto my knees on the couch and turned to face him. I explained my idea on the hostage idea, which was basically that he needed to take someone unassociated with the scene and hold THAT person hostage. We discussed particulars, and somehow I ended up being the one who would be the "innocent bystander" (laughable idea, I am far more likely to be in league with someone... :)

But, that part of the discussion ended up with discussion the best way to display evilness with an "innocent". I described that as a control idea, you needed to take away the power of the hostage, so the best option would be to hold the person off the ground like Antaeus. This would then remove even the option to get away from the hostage. So the evil mastermind actor proceeded to offer a couple of suggestions, and I countered. It ended up with him literally pulling me to my feet with a hand around my throat. (This was the option that was decided on at the end of the whole discussion, but that the innocent person would actually be fully lifted up by the throat, thereby displaying full helplessness. And can I say, even in dreamland it was so nice to be around other people who actually knew the story of Antaeus!)

The dream stuck around in my mind because of the fact that I know myself well enough to know that I don't like giving up control of projects that I'm working on. I can share, to an extent with others, but I can have trouble with giving up control. That's not to say that I always need to be in control, but if I start in control of something, it is offensive to me to have that control taken away without a reason that I can agree with (thereby making the giving up of control my choice).

So why, in this dream, am I not just able to share control of this story planning, but even allow someone else to have so much control of me physically, that they can hold me by the throat?

Yes, I'm aware that it was a dream. I was even moderately aware at the time that I was dreaming. That doesn't change my personality, I still have all the same character flaws and strengths, so why was this okay?

Right now, my current thought path is that in the dream I knew this actor well. I'd worked with or around him for years and had trust in the fact that he knew his business well enough that I was safe in giving up that control and, more immediately, I wasn't giving up control permanently. Therefore, if I know that I'm being treated like a partner and cared for (not in any sexual or intimate way, but as a treasured partner/friend/coworker/etc), then I can better share whatever I'm working on and I can reciprocate the trust.

I had to learn the control part very early. My mother was a single mom pretty early on and even when she wasn't, I ended up being the one to take care of a lot of the animals in the house and then my siblings, when they arrived. Just because I've always had to be responsible for most of the things around me doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to let others in to help.

How do you share? What makes you happy to share projects with friends, coworkers, or family?