Saturday, August 5, 2017

3 weeks or so

Just over 3 weeks before the baby bird gets to come home.

It's hot and sticky, and also smoky here in Washington. The Canadian Wildfires are still burning and the smoking is flowing down to us.

I mean, we're good with sharing, but it would be nice to share something else other than smoke.

Unfortunately between the heat and the smoke, I don't want to take baby bird outside. So we hung out inside and got underfoot. We can't do that again, but it was nice to see him again. He appears to recognize me, which is nice. He spent some time grooming my hair and ear, because apparently he thinks I don't wash well enough. :D

No pictures today, it was too hard to try to wrangle him and the towel and make sure we stayed as close to out of the way as possible. I couldn't add a camera on top of that. Maybe next week.

I brought home ice and dry ice today from the grocery store. Some of the ice went into my freezer, but about half the bag went into the big bucket and the dry ice went on top of the ice. The bucket is now behind my box fan and is the super version of a swamp cooler.

I need to get back to work on my paper for school. It's just so dull and I've got so many things to do. School is not what I want to do.

I know that I need to, and I know that it's a good thing and will give me something that is worth the effort, but still so dull.


The heat doesn't help. It makes me slow and cranky. And ill.

Tonight hasn't been super productive. Tomorrow will be a bit more productive between chores and paper. But I'll still be grumpy. :D

Monday, July 31, 2017

6 months in the blink of an eye... almost

I hadn't really realized that it was 6 months since I last updated my blog. The whole time is a blur. There was mourning for the loss of Shu. There was the scramble to get classes finished for school (finished, passed, but it was right up to the line.)

My grandmother died in February, and it's been a blur there too. She was the last of my living grandparents and was 101 years old.

Some of her things were sent to me and I found that one of my counted cross stitch designs that I had made for her years and years and years ago (about 1994, apparently) was one of the things she kept until the day she died. That makes me feel good, but at the same time confused. This was the woman who was so horrid to me so often, and then would tell people how much she loved the calendars I made every year for christmas gifts and would keep this cross stitch I did for 23 years.

I can only shake my head and try to accept it as it was and move on.

At the beginning of July I took another step and stopped back at the bird shop where my monster bird had been boarded so often, and where I bought so many of his things. They had mentioned that they had baby cockatiels in and I had never really gotten to see young cockatiels. I've known that I wanted another bird for ages. For years in fact. I knew that while I still adore Quakers, I can't get another one right now. It would be unfair. I would never look at another Quaker (at least not right now or for the foreseeable future) and not see monsterbird. The Quaker would forever be being compared to Monsterbird and would never come out ahead. I wouldn't do that to a baby bird. I have the same reaction to Green Cheek and Black Cap conures. They are very similar in size and personality to Quakers. It wouldn't be fair.

So I was thinking of looking into a Cockatiel. I've worked with them before, I've fostered 3 in the past years. (I would have kept the first one I fostered, except Monsterbird had an absolute meltdown and would have never let it live. I found an adopter for that one and they lived very happily ever after.) But now I was thinking I might talk to Joan or Mike about how to take care of a cockatiel as opposed to a Quaker.

I walked out the owner of a Baby Cockatiel. A baby so young I wasn't allowed to touch it. He is a lovely yellow with brilliant orange cheeks (I'm guessing it is a boy, but I haven't heard back on the dna test to be sure.) He has a lovely fawn/grey pattern over his wings and back. He is a Cinnamon Pearl Lutino, apparently, and is really cute and sweet.

I've been back to visit several times over the last few weeks and he has gotten to know me and recognizes me when I come in. He also remembers that me visiting means he gets to go outside which is extremely exciting to him. He's also a complete butt and a strong flyer already. At 5.5 weeks old he nearly managed to clear a 5.5 foot fence. At 6.5 weeks he flew over 50 feet across the backyard of the shop and hit the other fence. After that, he has to wear his baby harness and a leash. These were both with fully clipped wings. Joan says that this whole brood are some of the strongest flyers she's ever seen and all of them are trouble incarnate with regards to flying and getting out. (Okay, maybe she just said that they are extremely strong flyers, some of the strongest she's ever seen, and are all trouble, but still... :)

Since it's late and I still need to go put laundry away before I go to bed, I'll just leave some pictures:

Friday, January 20, 2017

Short update today

I meant to post last weekend and the. Then*n the whole weekend kind of got away from me.

Thank you to the people who commented on my last post with supportive messages. I appreciate it. It does help sometimes.

We 20 days into the new year. I'm 50 days into the current semester and I just scheduled my first final for the semester. Gotta brush up on the details, but I don't expect to have trouble.

I got into a bit of a discussion with my school counselor last week because apparently they are trying to veer away from the "go at your own pace, in your own way" model. This will not end well for them. The vast majority of their students are like me, working adults trying to fit in more education around a work schedule. We enrolled with this school specifically to be able to fit it around work. So telling me (us) that we suddenly have to follow a schedule that wasn't part of our enrollment agreement is rather upsetting.

I'm still enjoying my job. Still enjoying my coworkers. It's nice to have a job where I may wake up and not want to go to work, but it's more because I want to snuggle back under the warm covers than because work makes me want to kill things.

This weekend is set to be a lot of house keeping. I really want to get things hauled out to the recycling or the trash or to Goodwill. I have a movie to watch and books to read. But I have chores that need doing as well.

For now, I need to water plants, and get finished getting ready for work. I'm working from home today, so it's not going to take long. :)

And as a last thing. Take a look at the baby blanket that I finished and sent to my nephew as a christmas gift:

Thursday, December 29, 2016

We're almost through

This past month and a half have been beyond stressful.

Right after my last post was the end of my semester for school and I had plenty of work to do to try to pass my finals. I managed to squeak through my last final on the last day of my semester (I passed with a decent score, but the door closing for the end of the term might have nipped my heels a bit.)

On the upside there, I now get to say that I'm certified for Project Management, and that's super spiffy.

Unfortunately, the world tried to collapse around my ears 3 days later.

My last remaining pet had to be let go at the beginning of December. Our weather took a really harsh turn for the worse (colder) and he was already battling some of the worst arthritis most of his vets had ever seen.

Shu was an abuse survivor. I don't know what all happened to him when he was tiny. I know he was taken from his mother WAY too early. He was probably taken at just barely 5 weeks old. I don't know what happened to him between then and when he showed up on my doorstep. There's about a week of unaccounted for time. I do know that he was thrown out of a moving car nearly 17 years ago. I know that he haunted my apartment building getting handouts from neighbors. I know he showed up on my doorstep on the day that I brought home a foam mattress topper for a twin bed that happened to be perfect for plopping down on the doorstep to prevent him running away and hiding.

I know that he was so tiny that he fit in the palm of my hand and could barely reach the sides of my hand with both paws. He could have fit into one of those silly, small, elegant china tea cups and had room left over. He was this little cadet blue and white kitten with the tiniest little voice. He already had long scars down both back legs and some other damage. And he was so desperate to be held and cuddled and loved.

Little monster launched himself at my lap once, in the bathroom. When I was using the bathroom... He hit my lap all right, but he was going so fast that he couldn't STOP on my lap. I had 12 slices across my left thigh from him trying to stop. He ended up stopping all right, after he hit the wall. Poor little turkey. He was horribly accident prone, and I seriously think there was brain damage that kept him at the emotional and learning equivalent of a 6 month to 12 month old kitten.

He would get tangled up in something and not be able to get himself untangled. He would forget that there was a door or wall right in front of his face, even after he noticed it, sniffed it and touched it. He would then run his face right into whatever it was when he got up to go somewhere. It didn't always happen, but it did happen more than once.

He was dumb as a box of rocks. And he wanted so badly to be loved and make me happy that as long as I could get him to understand what I wanted, he would do it. Just to make me smile and tell him that he was a good boy.

He was so submissive, he hid from hummingbirds. He would chatter at squirrels, but if they so much as looked his way, he ran to hide. He wouldn't go after spiders or bugs in the house, he would watch, but if they came towards him, again with the hiding.

He absolutely loved being held and cuddled. He adored being picked up and held to my shoulder like a human child while I rocked in the rocking chair. He would purr if I so much as laid a hand on him. If I touched his nose, he would try to lick my finger. And if I timed it right, I could poke him again while he was in the process of licking and he would forget that his tongue was out. It would stay sticking out until something called his attention to it again.

When he was about 1, he used to play fetch by himself. He would take those rattle mice from the pet store, sit up on his haunches and throw them across the room. Then go get them, come back and do it again.

He always backed down before Willow, my other cat. They slept together and he was always in the submissive position. When she died, I bought him 2 stuffed toys and I put pocket watches in their heads to simulate heartbeat noises as much as I could. He didn't like the rabbit, but he loved the dog one. He slept with that for years after Willow's death.

As he got older and more arthritic, he stopped playing. He would cuddle up next to me on the couch and tap me on the arm regularly to ask to be petted. I have a video of him in October or November of this year where for several minutes he just would pull my hand back to his head to pet him just a bit more.

I have an audio recording of his purr.

He would sleep curled up between my pillow and the pillow on his side of the bed. His head would be on my pillow with me and he would pet my shoulder or cheek until I fell asleep. If I woke up in the middle of the night, he would ask for cuddles and then pet me to sleep again. I would wake up to his purring next to my ear. This is much better than when he was really young. Then he would get under the covers and push me while I slept. I always moved away and would wake up nearly falling off the bed. Often clutching the edge of the mattress to keep myself from falling.

The first Friday in December he couldn't do any of these things. He couldn't manage to walk across the room without crying from pain. He couldn't lay down from the pain. He fell frequently as his joints locked up. I gave him double doses of his pain meds and let the vet know that it was time.

He went to sleep curled in my lap. I know that he knew that I loved him. I know that he wasn't really ready to go, but he was more than ready to not hurt. I know that he had no clue why he hurt so much. I know that he loved me and that he always had.

I know that there is a huge hole in my heart where he was. I know that my house is too quiet and too empty and that I cry so frequently still.

I miss the tugging on my arm. I miss the purring next to my head and the petting as I fell asleep. I miss the whining and complaining when he wanted something. I miss the rattle of his toys when he played. I miss the jingle of the bell on his collar. I miss him and Willow curled up on the other end of the couch. I miss them both trying to pet the parrot while I corralled the parrot to keep him from biting them.

I miss feeling loved.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

I don't talk much about politics and let me tell you a bit of why

This is not going to be a trend. This will be the last post about politics from me for the foreseeable future. I have other things that I am working on that I am willing to talk about here. And I kind of feel like politics should be handled like religion. You have yours, I have mine, and while I am absolutely not against adult CONVERSATION, I am not interested in having your choices or opinions shoved down my throat.

I knew that this election, like most, would have people who supported the winner, and people who supported the losers. Notice the S there. There are more than 2 parties and here's something that a lot of people who support those 2 main parties forget. It is part of being a democracy that everyone eligible to vote gets to pick which ever party they want. ANY PARTY. They can even forgo selecting a party.

Caps here for a moment while I try to make a point:


Imagine that someone who had no real basis in the party system was told that they would have to pick a party based on their most recent interactions with someone about the recent election.

If that someone were me here are my current impressions and a short synopsis of the behaviors:

ALL the third party supporters: Carrying on with their every day lives. There is some unhappiness about the outcome of the election overall, but they do not let it override everything else in their life.

Republicans: Some gloating on some social media and in the news. But my most recent in person interactions are pretty much identical to the third part supporters. Carrying on with the every day. The news and social media show a lot of hatred and vitriol everywhere.

Democrats: Screaming at everyone, cursing everyone who did not vote for the democratic candidate. Blaming everyone who chose to vote for someone other than one of the two major party candidates. Blaming people for making their own choices. Hatred and vitriol everywhere.

Be happy if your choices won. Be upset and sad if your choices did not win. These are perfectly normal reactions.

But as the current phrase from a lot of people I know has been over the last several days goes...

Be the change you want to see.

If you are happy, great, support happy and good things. If you are upset or sad, also normal, but be better than what you fear.

Show by example why your choices are good.

I avoid a lot of people around politics time because I am tired of hearing hatred from people. And I lived for several years in a job that made me full of hate and anger. And I tried to keep that to myself. I didn't always succeed, but I tried and few people understand how deeply that job affected me.

I post pictures on Instagram of my cat, or my nail polish, or pretty or interesting things that I see outside. I want to see other people who are trying to be the change they want in the world. A positive change, preferably.

Do I worry about the future? Yes. But that wouldn't have changed no matter what the outcome of the election.

All I ask is before you say anything about the election, take a deep breath and think about how this would look to someone from another world or a country that has no similar option for government. Would your statement make them want to share your support? Or would it make them look elsewhere?

It's not a crime to vote for your personal preferences. It's democracy.

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Ugh. 3:30am

It's not insomnia... it's just too warm.

And it really isn't too warm outside. But it's too warm in my bedroom.

I have to leave the heat on during the day for the cat so he can still move (darn arthritis.) And even though I turn the heat off and open a window before bed, I think the people downstairs turn their heat on and I am getting a lot of it.

So it's still so warm in my bedroom that I rarely end up under covers, and today I ended up not able to sleep more than a short while at a time (about 45 minutes) because I was just too hot. Which, given that it is 49 degrees out with a light breeze? Is a terrible thing.

I've had a glass of ice water and I'm hoping I can sleep soon. Sleep is nice.

I voted today. Have you voted? If you can, you should. And I don't say that because of the national "Get out and vote" movements that always happen right before an election. I say that because I hear too many people around me complain about the government and the way the country is run. And yet, a good portion of those complainers do not vote.

If you don't vote, and you are legally able to? YOU DO NOT GET TO COMPLAIN. NOPE, NOT EVEN A PEEP.

Voting, for all that our system is severely broken (in my absolutely NON-humble opinion), is your way to take a stand for or against something. Don't like the president and their policies? Vote. Don't like taxes? Vote (and deal, taxes are the way we get government and yes, we need it.) But you can get a say in what is taxed and when and how much.

And here's something else. If you want to actually make changes, not just vote for or against them? Then get involved. Do the legwork and the bookwork. Write up an idea, follow through with it. Get that idea on a ballot. Yes, it takes time and effort. But it's your RIGHT.

I have opinions. I have very decided opinions about our political system. I also know that it's extremely unlikely that any of my ideas would ever make it to a ballot, let alone beyond that. Not only because I haven't done the legwork to make them happen, but because some of the things I would like to see changed are things that most people know almost nothing about.

But I still vote and even if I vote for Donald Duck on all the write in sections (don't do that, it's stupid, juvenile, and a waste of a vote.) But even if I did, it lets me complain for another 4 years. So there. (I don't complain all that much, I have a lot of understanding and respect for government and how difficult it is to manage this many people. Yes, there are problems. Any time you get more than 2 people together in one small area, you will have problems.)

Anyway, if you haven't yet, step out and vote. Then you too can complain about the government and how much you hate the president, the congress, the senate, the guy down the street, or your shoes.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

I haven't been all that good about updating

I think about it, and then stuff gets in the way.

This weekend is no exception.

Let's see, the notables over the last few months... Went and visited my mom, Fiber Fusion in Monroe. Spent way too much money, spun some yarn, paid some bills, continuing to work at the new job, still enjoying it immensely.

The cat is still hanging in there, but getting slower and more in pain on a daily basis. I'm dreading the day when I have to make the decision that his quality of life has gone down enough to let him go. And I have no illusions that the day won't be soon.

I'm still working on schoolwork, continuing to get closer to graduation. I just turned in the last 2 assignments for one of my classes and will get started on my last class for the semester today. However, I have chores to do before I get started on that. Laundry is nearly done, and I have bread that needs shaping, proofing, and baking.

I have to get new polish on my nails. And no, that's not vanity. The stress from before I left the job from hell caused damage to my nails that is very slow to grow out. The polish helps to keep the nails strong enough to grow out.

You want to see something funny? You should watch a cat get the munchies from cannabis. It happens, and it's hilarious. Watching him do a vacuum cleaner impression to try to get any remnants of treats from his bed? And then fall over and act like he's dying? I nearly laughed myself sick. The cannabis is specifically designed for cats, and the vet has me trying him on it for 2 months to see if he does better on it. Allegedly, it helps with the specific pain med he is on and makes it more effective. I certainly hope so, since watching him limp across a room from pain makes me ready to cry from wanting to make him hurt less.

I'm starting again to think of looking at getting another bird. I'm actually thinking of getting 2, so that they can keep each other company. It won't be soon, but I'm starting to think about it. It will never remove the pain and sense of loss from losing Torrii, but it no longer makes me start to cry at the very thought.

It's a brief update today. But I need to go get the bread going.